i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize