i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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