Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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