Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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