If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
