Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize