I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
