i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know her cup size but not her name....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
