When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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