I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is wine microwaveable?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're breaking my sexual little heart
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
