I checked into jail on foursquare
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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