okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Someone signed my nipple.
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