Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
