I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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