i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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