Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we're making bets on your personal life
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize