it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
