i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
