I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're a waste of cheezeits
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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