how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
