he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
