so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
