please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
