dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
