nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
