dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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