can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
