I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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