then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
