Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
