I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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