people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
