Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Randomize
