my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
