I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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