Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I need water and some morals
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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