In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize