just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
