Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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