The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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