I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
