do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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