and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
