and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
