I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
