i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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