my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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