I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
