Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
