OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dicks are not precious.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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