Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
