my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
this is an emotional support booty call
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
