I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
