Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
